woensdag 28 september 2011

Hate-twitter: "you must die"

This morning I was reading an article in an old newspaper. It was about hate-messages on twitter.
Children from 12-13 years old are sending these kind of messages to each other: you must die.

What is this? What are they actually saying, as 'young' as they are?

They say "you must die". They think we are the mind. And the mind is projecting.
They say, you must die. And by thinking that we are the mind, the other person as the mind must die. And by thinking as the mind, that we are talking about others instead of seeing that we are talking about ourselves, they say: me as the mind must die. Or, translated in practical language: my mind must stop, the mind must stop.

This is serious if very young people are placing these messages into the world.
This is showing how everybody is driving crazy by being one and equal as the mind, as a mind-consiousness-system.

We have to stop the mind; we have to stop this world from all blowing apart through the mind.

Seeing the fact that the mind of the children is the same as the mind of all people, connected as the whole mind-consiousness-system which is placed in everyone and connected to everyone as the mind, everyone has to start working with this inside themselves.

We have to start to become one and equal, not as mind, but as ourSelves, as Self, as Life, as All Life.
We have to become Alive.

Please start seeing into this.
Start within yourself to stop your/the mind, if you want another world for the children;
if you want them to stop these words of hate, spoken as the mind.
Also if these children are not 'your own'.

Stop participating in and as the mind, stop projecting.
Start applying self-forgiveness.


For information and support:

http://www.desteni.net/ (dutch/nederlands)
http://www.desteni.co.za/
http://www.equalmoney.org/
http://www.desteniiprocess.com/

maandag 26 september 2011

Communication with animals - A Cat speaking

"WAKE UP CALL"
(below for translation)

 
Waarom schreeuwen?
"Ze moet wakker worden".


Hij stikt van binnen, samengeknepen (van binnen), hij kan niet meer.
Ze slaapt nog helemaal.
Kat haalt haar uit de mind met zijn schreeuw, totdat ze antwoordt en weer Hier is.

Dierenarts?
Hij weet niet precies wat daar te zoeken.
Eventuele behandeling?
Hij weet niet waar je het over hebt.

"Genieten van zijn oude dag"?
??? Dat is "sussen".
Dit gaat totaal voorbij aan de gelijkheid, HIJ IS JOUW SPIEGEL.

Die kamer op zolder is het punt niet. Dat is een afleidingsmanouvre van de mind.
Zij zet Kat (het Leven) vast met de Mind. Dus zet ze zichzelf, als Leven, vast met haar eigen Mind (=dood).

Wil ze dat Kat vrijelijk beweegt?
Stop de mind. Ze (als mind) zet alles vast, dit geeft druk op het hoofd. Hier loopt hij voor weg, voor haar als de mind.

WAKE UP kijkt hij doordringend.
Hij gaat pal voor je staan als spiegel: WAKE UP. 

"Stellen van grenzen" is de mind bewaken, afbakenen. Het persoonlijke ikje voelt zich in het nauw gedreven.
"Opkomen voor mijn welzijn" is polariteit.
Het uitgangspunt moet verschuiven: van "ik" naar Alle Leven.
van "Wat is goed voor mij" naar "Wat is het beste voor alles en iedereen".
Hier is altijd maar 1 optie. Dan is er geen verdediging van grenzen nodig, want jij bent gelijk aan alles en iedereen.

"Als ze zichzelf niet gaat zien zal de dood erop volgen" (van Kat).
Dat is geen keus, dat is de "Wet van het Leven".
De mind drukt dood, zo eenvoudig is het.


Praktisch:


Ze moet gaan staan.

* Ademen, in de Borst.
De emoties drukken haar neer.
Ze moet doorademen, door de emoties heen.
(Dit geeft Kat ruimte, dan kan hij weer bewegen, zich uitrekken, gapen).

* Buitenlucht, half uur per dag alleen, dus zonder hond.
Lopen - Ademen, niets anders.

Ze moet het Zelf doen, zonder 'hulpmiddel'.
Pas als ze het zelf doet komt er "bijstand", ondersteuning. Eerst de stap zelf zetten.

(Buiten, Kat klimt in een boom?)
* Kat houdt zich afzijdig totdat je gaat staan, deze stap zet. (van emotie naar Zelf).
Hij wil de schuur graag weer open. Buiten, de tuin is zijn plekje.
Met water. Eten kan in de keuken.
(Eten en drinken is allemaal in orde).

Geen geneuzel, dit moet gedaan worden.
Nu gaat hij slapen.
Geen gesprek, eerst gaan staan, in gelijkheid, dan kunnen we praten.

Doe alles wat nodig is hiervoor.
Dit is alles wat er is.
Nergens aan vastklampen; Alleen in jeZelf.

Dit gaat niet vanzelf weg!!


Translation:

"WAKE UP CALL"


Why screaming?
"She has to wake up".
He is choking inside, squeezed together (inside), he cannot have this anymore.
She is yet totally asleep.
Cat pulls her out of the mind with his scream, untill she answers and is Here again.

Veterinary surgeon?
He doesnot exactly know what to do there.
Contingent treatment?
He doesnot know what you are talking about.


"Enjoy his old days"?
??? That's "hushing".
This is totally passing the equality. HE IS YOUR MIRROR.


The room on the ceiling is not the point. This is a way of distraction from the Mind.
She is fixing Cat (Life) with the Mind. So she is fixing herself, as Life, with her own Mind (=Death).


She wants Cat to move freely?
Stop the mind. She (as mind) is fixing everything, this gives pressure on the head. This is what he is walking away from, from her as mind.


WAKE UP he is looking piercing.
He stands in front of you as a mirror: WAKE UP.


"Placing borders" is protecting the mind, tracing out. The personal little 'I' is feeling driven into narrow.
"Getting up for her welfare" is polarity.
The point must move: from 'I' to All Life.
From "what is good for me" to "what is best for all and everything".
Here there is always only 1 option. Than there is no need to defense borders, because you are equal and one to all and everyone.


"If she is not going to see herself, death will follow" (from Cat).
This is not a choice, this is the "Law of Life".
The mind is squeezing to death, this is as simple as it is.

Practical:

She must stand up.


* Breathing, in the Chest.
The emotions are pulling her down.
She must breath through it, through the emotions.
(This gives Cat space, than he can move again, stretch out, yawn).


* Fresh air outside, half an hour each day alone, so without dog.


Walking - Breathing, nothing else.


She has to do it herSelf, without 'help'.
When she will start doing it herself there will come "standing by" (assistance), support. First put the stap herself.


(Outsite, cat is climbing in a tree?)
* Cat aloof untill you stand up, put this step (from emotion to Self).
He would like to open the barndoor again. Outside, the garden is his place.
With water, eating can be done in the kitchen.
(Food and drink are all okay).


No nonsense, this must be done.
Now he is going to sleep.
No talk, first stand up, in equality, than we can talk.


Do everything that is necessary for this.
This is all there is.
Don't cling to anything. Alone in yourSelf.


This is not going away by itself!!

zondag 25 september 2011

To sleep as to forget

I noticed this before, in the evening I had some realizations, in morning everything was gone. Something like the film Groundhogday. I slept 9 hours, in april I brought this to 7-7,5 hours. Four days ago I start to sleep 6 hours. And within these days, I get the mirror of the point of forget. In day I do not practically forget very much. So where do I forget? In the sleep. I was hiding every night in the sleep. To reload the mind, so to forget who I am, to never wake up.

With sleeping 9 hours there is a day and a night. Already in the beginning of the evening I started to "prepare" for the night. With sleeping 6 hours I notice this is gone. There is no really desension between day and night, it becomes more infinite, including a period of resting.

These realizations are cool. And in the same time I notice, I am not equal and one as the words that I write. I can write the words (but can I speak the words?); I realize them, but in everyday practice I suddenly do the opposite than the point that I just realized. So the applying is not yet effective.
I make a futureprojection within the mind, I think I am already "all ready".
And when I see the reflections in day-life, I notice that it's totally different than what "I thought" it would be.
I have to stop this and apply practically what I just realized. I realize it, and than I as mind think the work is done. But what is behind this?
I do not really believe that I can change who I am. Aha, I still think that I am damned-anathematized (in the mind) forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the anathematize has power over me as Self as I Am.

What did I do in the last 3-4 days? I was pushing a point through. And it didnot work at all.
And I just see what I turned around: I must not push the point through the throat, I must push or move myself through the point.
So, because I donot really "believe" that I can change-move myself, I try to move the point.
By pushing the point through, everything, everyone goes into resistance, and I make myself dependent on the point, so on the mind, and on the other person who is involved. Which, ofcourse, "build up" resistance again.
So I create resistance with doing this; than I can see why I build up so much resistance in the past, in the body. By not seeing how I can move myself, I was trying to move the points.
By pushing the point through the throat instead of moving myself through the point.

Now I see why M. and I friday both had some acid indigestion in the stomach.
The resistance was coming upwards. Instead of Self Standing Up.


How can I practically move through a point?
The ego is floating around.


"See why you cannot yet move the physical -- because the physical is specific and was designed in precision -- it moves in such precision without you -- realize that -- and you will see the ego that floats around in pretence -- stop and humbly learn how to do things in exact precision --WITH WORDS" - Bernard Poolman

maandag 19 september 2011

facing myself as facing the world as facing myself

The dimensions are in oneness and equality with all that exists, therefore we are willing to give up and let go of everything, even ourselves, to ensure that all walks free from consciousness and the mind as systems which we have allowed to control and enslave us.


Reading this in lesson 1, I suddenly become emotional.
I realized, I was ready to give up everything "around me" but I forgat one thing:
To give up myself as I know myself at this moment, to give up my own inner secrets, to give up my spite?!

Now I see my struggle for the last few days.
Struggling with shorting the sleeping time, looking for distraction and "arguing" with Mariusz when he makes his own plan today (which in the main time is okay), feeling alone when he went away (which is also not happening lately), resistence of going on reading with lesson 1, and finally, when I am reading lesson 1, suddenly "out of the blue" the desire to masturbate!

What is this, this desire to masturbate that suddenly comes up (and doesnot go away "from itself")? What does it give me at this moment?  It's just a short flight, escape, from the "feeling" that there is nothing left at this moment. Nothing left to fill me, nothing "nice" to give me a "good feeling" at this moment. Just nothing left. And that makes me wanting to cry.

So I can choose, masturbate, cry or breath. Okay this makes me laughing again.
I choose breathing, but I am still not sure that after 5 minutes, "underhand" :-), in spite of all that, I start masturbating. So I leave a backdoor open, I leave a backdoor in my mind, a backdoor to go into my mind again, running away from everything that I become aware of by facing myself as facing the world as facing myself.
And with bringing the sleep to 6 hours I do the same; I leave a backdoor open in allowing myself for example to sleep 7 hours, or 6,5. One hour more to have a "nice feeling" of lying in bed, of hiding for what is Here.

So far for now.


Next day.
The backdoor, is allowing the possability to spite, is a back door to the (illusion of) control of the mind.
Why?

Talking on the phone with Sylvie I saw the turning around:
Out of fear to speak as myself, I willnot let go the spite, because I think, that when I let go the spite, when I forgive the spite, I have to speak. And when I speak, I become afraid of the spite of the mind of other people, which will come to me ofcourse if I donot forgive my own spite, which make me speak out of spite. And that I will not do, I don't want to speak out of spite. So I keep holding on to my own spite, so that I don't have to speak. I allow myself to stay in spite so I can stay in the illusion of the savety of silence, which means, in the illusion of the savety of "allowing".

I Stopped speaking out of fear for the spite of (the mind of) other people. I am surprised how the mind believes the spite and doesnot listen to the real words anymore. This "surprising" has made me perplexed, bewildered, "speachless". My mouth falls open in a 'round' ooooh....and that's it.

Seeing the fact that the mind of other people is the same as my mind, I see that I am surprised and did stop speaking out of fear for "the world", which means out of fear for the mind of other people, wich means out of fear for my "own" mind. Which brings me back to myself;
I am scared of the spite of myself as mind, attacking myself.

(And look at the words, I write "I am" surprised, "I am " scared, instead of  I feel surprised or I feel scared).

And this I feal in my body. Not as a moment, but as a block (blog) within me, as a accumulation of all the judgements, all the spite against myself, clot together as a blindmaking, suppressing (surprising?) block. Not leaving one moment for being myself as Self, as being Alive.

And I am feeling this already for 22 years (and probably also before).
It gives me complaints in the body from which I have known all the time, this can be solved by myself. With this I have been busy for the last 22 years. And now it's time to pull out of eachother of this clond, this lump of self-spiting and self-judging. To "disrelate" all the turning judgements.
Piece by Piece, Point by Point, Breath by Breath.

"Untill I can speak as Self, which means free from spite, and within this, free from the fear of spite".

The backdoor keeps the situation "as it is"!

That's why the last sentence was "feeling" as not honest; I still have a back door so I allow the mind to turn things around.

------------------------------------------------------------------

5 minutes after realizing all this, I yet did do the the masturbation.
What did this bring? Did I step into the backdoor?
It takes away the control of the mind for writing a "nice looking piece".
It makes me more equal within the process where I am at this moment.
Instead of looking at myself (as mind?), it becomes investigating myself (as mind?).
But it also closed something, and at this moment I cannot see what this closing is.
Is it closing or opening?
Or did I just stop hiding by writing this?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for feeling embarrassed for writing this down on a blog.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for feeling embarrassed for not knowing what is going on at this moment and already sharing it with other people.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for feeling really uncomfortable by letting go the control of the mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that I make it worse with every word I write.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that something terrible will happen because I placed this blog in public.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the feeling for being real that I push myself too far this time.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that "I am loosing it".
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for feeling embarrassed by sharing this struggling inside me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for feeling scared by the experience that the mind is spinning around without control.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I may not "be seen" as all as I am.

Aha now I see what the masturbation is doing. It creates the spinning. I knew this "by head" so I did limit doing it, but I did not really see this linked on each other. Until now, because I wrote it down in public and all the spinning was coming up (as is visible in the list of self-forgiveness).
I suddenly saw this after talking with Mariusz about it.

Thankyou.

vrijdag 16 september 2011

Waking up by Living Words

What words do I have to speak?
I don't trust the old words. They are all spoken from the mind, spoken out of thoughts, feelings and emotions.
From the heart? Actually I don't know what that is, from the heart. I was trying this and speaking about this in the past, "I want to speak from the Heart". I thought that was "everything" but I never was able to do this. No.

So, I can speak as myself, as Self. Ofcourse as Self. But what is that, speaking as myself? 
I realize that I have very little words as myself. I never learned to speak as myself. Words that are alive, All Life. But to learn that, I have to hear them from someone, as someone. So I learn it within Desteni, which means, I learn it by listening and reading words, spoken by people, who realize that they are not a mindsystem. And by reading and listening and practising words, I slowly start seeing the difference between Living Words, words spoken as Self,  and System Words, words spoken as the Mind.

Does these words in the beginning not sound as myself? Probably not. Maybe I first copy them, maybe I speak living words still from the mind, as I am "learning " them,  before the words (be)come as myself like Living Water.
But me and everyone, we never, or maybe rarely, hear me speaking as myself, because I was only speaking as the mind, as thoughts, feelings and emotions. So how do we know what that is? Me, speaking as myself?
And if all people never or rarely were speaking as themselves, but only as the mind, as thoughts, feelings and emotions, how can they see me speeking as myself? The words are not really "recognized" in the mind, so the living words become "difficult to understand".

But everyone is alive, All Life, so everyone has to hear or see something in the living words, even if they are copied, even if they are not really alive because the person who speaks them is not yet really alive, but just waking up. And something must start waking up inside by listening to the sound of a (semi?) living word; (semi, when the person who speaks them is just waking up?)

But waking up, that's most of time not a pleasant moment. We all know that, because every morning we all are struggling with this, with this moment of waking up; experiencing the resistance in the mind, making all excuses to sleep a little longer.
And every day, this is coming back.

So, next time, if I see the reflection of this unpleasant experience that is coming up while (semi) living words are spoken, I should realize, we are waking up, and, untill we are really alive, that's not a pleasant moment, for non of us.
Because what follows after waking up, is Standing Up.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to speak from the mind, to speak out my feelings and taking them for 'real', instead of seeing that it were my feelings, coming from my thoughts, that I speak out into the world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to show me in my words as being my feelings.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become nervous if I don't have words from myself to speak instead of just going into breathing and stay Here, breath by breath by breath, to see what happens, what words are coming or maybe not coming from myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become nervous if I just want to be quiet in company of other people, instead of going into breathing and stay here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that other people want me to speak about anything, instead of seeing that it's my own mind who becomes nervous and for that my own mind wants me to speak about anything to fill the silence.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to "follow" the mind who becomes nervous when there is silence, instead of staying here and start breathing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel resistance in myself against myself when I am speaking and writing (semi) living words.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have doubts about the question if I "am allowed" to already speak the living words when I just start waking up.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that it's possible to not be allowed to speak living words, copied or not.

What is a Living Word?
What makes a word Alive?

woensdag 14 september 2011

Be the Process

Following on the sharing on facebook, the sharing was (among other things) about "making worries" about how to live with a man who is not involved into desteni-i-process.
James placed an answer where in was written, "be the process".
First I saw was this: I forgat to be the process, I was doing the process.
I was seeing into these words the next few days. "Be the process". If I was doing the process, I was seperating me from the process, and within that seperating me from the process I was seperating me from the man I live with (his name is Mariusz) and so I was seperating me from myself. If I be the process, it doesnot matter where I am in the process, where he is in the process. Because if we both are the process, we are the same process. Than every one is the same process, and we all reflect this process. The process of deprogramming ourselves and becoming Alive, All Life. Equal and One.

Which brings me to the next point: 'being stuck" into the reflections.
This is something for another blog because I don't see this point yet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I was seperated from the process, from Mariusz, from all people, from myself, instead of being One and Equal as All Life.

maandag 12 september 2011

In Godsnaam - In the name of God

Ik hoorde mezelf verschillende malen (malen?) zeggen, meerdere keren per dag, de woorden "in Gods-naam". Hoe kan ik dit in Godsnaam veranderen? Waarom lukt het me niet in Godsnaam? Hoe kan hij (projectie!) dit in Godsnaam niet zien? Aan de telefoon moest Sylvie al lachen om deze uitspraak (uitbraak) (lachen als in support), en werd duidelijk, hier moet ik eens in gaan zien. Dus ik ging het opschrijven. En ja, waarom zal het me niet lukken "in Gods naam"? Ik "geloof" niet dat ik het nog verder hoef uit te schrijven of wel? Hoe kan ik ooit iets doen "in Gods naam"? Laat ik gaan staan in Mezelf, en spreken als Mezelf, Hier, Een en Gelijk als de Adem als het Leven als het Levende Woord!

Several times a day, I heard myself speaking the words "in the name of God". How in the name of God can I change this? Why in the name of God am I not able to do this? How can he (projection!) not see this in the name of God? On the phone, Sylvie had to laugh about this pronunciation (break-out, "escape") (laughing as in support) and it became clear to me, I have to see into this words. So I wrote it on paper. And yes, why am I not able to do anything  "in the name of God"? I don't "believe" that I have to write this out any more isn't it? How can I ever do something "in the name of God"? Let's start to stand up in Myself, and speak as Myself, Here, One and Equal as Breath as Life as the Living Word!