It's not the situation that is keeping me into resistance, it's the free choice of the mind, or actually the mind who thinks there is a free choice, that is splitting me up every day.
As soon as the situation optional changes, my mind differs it's view. And if I agree with the situation, I can live in it. (I am not speaking about situations where the physical is suffering or where other abuse is happening - except my own abuse in/as the mind lol).
So, the free choice, which is actually not a real free choice because it's in and as the mind, is giving the suffering. And the resistance/suffering that is coming up is because I (as the mind) donot want to give up this free choice that is not even real. How mixed up is that.
To come through this resistance, I have to take this 'seriously'. If I am just knowing that it's not real and want to push myself through without caring for myself, I will create more resistance. So, taking it seriously, not as being real as something that must remain in reality, but as being real as it have been remained for a long time as who I am. If I donot take care of this as a part of that I've become, I throw myself of my own feet. That's what I usually did, just throw everything away because it is not real. I saw this as the only way to get out of the illusion; this was the only way I knew to not get stricked in a situation. But with stepping out of every situation I still get stricked in the situation in my own mind. And I need to get away everytime I feel I got stricked, which is actually stricked in/as the mind. Survival-mode, running away to survive in a system based on/as the mind. It still makes me dependent on the situation, because I have to step out of it. In the end this gives isolation, because every situation will get stricked me as I have build up this pattern inside myself. So I create these 'stricking' situations by running away, like a string that is getting more narrow everytime I try to get out. And the possability to step out of the situation, that is the 'free choice' that I created for myself.
Another point I see is that I didnot want to see into things, because I believed that if I see a point, it will remain forever. I have done many s.f. on aspects of being together in the house, related to going away and related to staying. One day I really believed to go away and next day I really believed to stay. Seeing into the thoughts, feelings and emotions didnot make them reality. It's turned around; not seeing into the mind is giving the mind a chance to recreate the old patterns, to make them reality.
The other reason that I am creating so much stress as conflict inside myself is because of the money. The idea of not being financial independant anymore is freaking me out at the moment.
So, two points that created conflict:
Free choice, which is in/as the mind
Money, which is in/as the mind.
This two aspects take away all freedom;
I allowed to let these two aspects take away all freedom.
That's funny isn't it, free choice, which we see as freedom, takes away all freedom.
Money, where we need to buy freedom with, takes away all freedom.
The sad situation of the world we accepted and allowed ourselves to live in.
Under this there is a lack of self-trust. Not knowing how to change things and for that, not daring to see into the options; "I donot want to see into what I am not able change: myself".
Free choice is not directing me as self but it's protecting me in a world of seperation, which keeps me away of self-will. Free choice is the seperation, and within this seperation this free choice as seperation seems the only way to survive, survival of/as/in the mind by creating an illusion of freedom to survive in the prison of our own mind. The mind is living by the sake of free choice, and to continue in/as the mind the free choice has to be continued, otherwise I as the mind disappear.
(Thanks to Marlin and Marcus for the vlogs that supported me to see into this).
http://www.desteniiprocess.com/
To see how you can become able to change yourself to change the world
http://www.equalmoney.org/
To support a world in equality, starting with equal money for everyone.
Posts tonen met het label equal money. Alle posts tonen
Posts tonen met het label equal money. Alle posts tonen
donderdag 5 januari 2012
maandag 28 november 2011
To break and being self-honest / equal money
To break, until we see at what point we are self-dishonest.
To see the point, so we can start to forgive and stand up in it. Which contains that we let go this point that we were covering. Covering because we were holding on to some illusion that we didnot want to let go. So the mind is scared for doing this, for letting go, and for this, it is turning around the experience. It gives the illusion that if we see into the specific point, we are stuck in it forever. And ofcourse we don't want that, we experience we are already stuck forever in the mind and we donot like that. So we walk away from seeing into the point, joked by our own mind, still stuck forever. But at the same time we want to be free from the prison of the mind, and the only thing that makes us free is to see into the point; this is giving friction. We want to be free and for this we are breaking until we see the point. And the running away is stimulating this breaking because it keeps us away from seeing but actually we want to see. If we donot see into the points, this pattern is going on and on, creating more and more friction as energy, breaking more and more, also the fysical, as seen in the world, out of frustration of being stuck in this pattern.
The breaking is a signal of not being self-honest. Of not seeing into what is real. When we see into the point, there is a relieve. The fear is much less than we thought it would be, actually the fear is gone, because we see the point as it is, without the mind turning this around. And we can start to apply self-forgiveness, untill we are free to walk through this point.
The more self-honest we are, the less breaking we need.
I was breaking because I would be dependent on (some amount of) the money of another person in future. Even in future, not already 'now'. But the prospect of being this in future made me very nervous. I started to react on the other person more and more. For seeing into this I had to let go some illusions, I had to see that I was turning around things. Being 'together' for the money/house is not 'working' when one person actually wants a relationship and one person not. Than there is developping a fairtrade between 'love' and money. This gives conditions, and to come out of this conditions I started to break (and probably the other person too). I had to stand up in myself, to see that I have to stay on my own feet. That's what I really want. When I stay on my own feet I can support another person, and I can be supported when needed. Unconditionally.
Equal money.
I donot know from experience how it is to have no home and food.
Still also here it is easy to see how everything is depending on money. This breaking I did myself is a small example, which can be large when living in a situation totally dependent on the money of another person, having children, house, a car. And actually for myself it was also not small, it was huge, growing up in this and stipulating all decisions on the background, the fairtrade of love and money. It made me totally ineffective. Stipulating, bepalend, be-palen-d. Ahum. Which was the consequence; the circle is round.
Last seven years I saw in myself that every worry I had I could bring back to money. Especially when the house is too expensive and the money is just not enough.
At the moment I cannot wright out other examples of unequal money, so I leave that for now. But they are uncountable; everyone can see some examples inside themselves.
So we donot have to see very far to become aware that also in the capitalist countries the money is keeping us enslaved: making worries to get it or making worries to not 'loose' it.
Be one vote for an equal money system to give all live included yourself the chance to free Self:
http://www.equalmoneysystem.org/
http://www.desteni-geld.net/
To see the point, so we can start to forgive and stand up in it. Which contains that we let go this point that we were covering. Covering because we were holding on to some illusion that we didnot want to let go. So the mind is scared for doing this, for letting go, and for this, it is turning around the experience. It gives the illusion that if we see into the specific point, we are stuck in it forever. And ofcourse we don't want that, we experience we are already stuck forever in the mind and we donot like that. So we walk away from seeing into the point, joked by our own mind, still stuck forever. But at the same time we want to be free from the prison of the mind, and the only thing that makes us free is to see into the point; this is giving friction. We want to be free and for this we are breaking until we see the point. And the running away is stimulating this breaking because it keeps us away from seeing but actually we want to see. If we donot see into the points, this pattern is going on and on, creating more and more friction as energy, breaking more and more, also the fysical, as seen in the world, out of frustration of being stuck in this pattern.
The breaking is a signal of not being self-honest. Of not seeing into what is real. When we see into the point, there is a relieve. The fear is much less than we thought it would be, actually the fear is gone, because we see the point as it is, without the mind turning this around. And we can start to apply self-forgiveness, untill we are free to walk through this point.
The more self-honest we are, the less breaking we need.
I was breaking because I would be dependent on (some amount of) the money of another person in future. Even in future, not already 'now'. But the prospect of being this in future made me very nervous. I started to react on the other person more and more. For seeing into this I had to let go some illusions, I had to see that I was turning around things. Being 'together' for the money/house is not 'working' when one person actually wants a relationship and one person not. Than there is developping a fairtrade between 'love' and money. This gives conditions, and to come out of this conditions I started to break (and probably the other person too). I had to stand up in myself, to see that I have to stay on my own feet. That's what I really want. When I stay on my own feet I can support another person, and I can be supported when needed. Unconditionally.
Equal money.
I donot know from experience how it is to have no home and food.
Still also here it is easy to see how everything is depending on money. This breaking I did myself is a small example, which can be large when living in a situation totally dependent on the money of another person, having children, house, a car. And actually for myself it was also not small, it was huge, growing up in this and stipulating all decisions on the background, the fairtrade of love and money. It made me totally ineffective. Stipulating, bepalend, be-palen-d. Ahum. Which was the consequence; the circle is round.
Last seven years I saw in myself that every worry I had I could bring back to money. Especially when the house is too expensive and the money is just not enough.
At the moment I cannot wright out other examples of unequal money, so I leave that for now. But they are uncountable; everyone can see some examples inside themselves.
So we donot have to see very far to become aware that also in the capitalist countries the money is keeping us enslaved: making worries to get it or making worries to not 'loose' it.
Be one vote for an equal money system to give all live included yourself the chance to free Self:
http://www.equalmoneysystem.org/
http://www.desteni-geld.net/
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