woensdag 30 november 2011

I forgive myself - mens-tru(e)-hate

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to sleep 8 hours last night.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel really bad about sleeping 8 hours last night.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to blame myself for sleeping 8 hours last night.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be really crancky after sleeping 8 hours.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to suppress myself with sleeping 8 hours.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel like I have a head full of cotton-wool.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel irritated by myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to blame myself for irritating myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel like I have missed two hours and for that I am in a hurry all day.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be in a feeling of hurry.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I am too late.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be scared that I am not able to find a new place to live for myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be scared that I am stuck in this situation forever.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to have no patience and self-trust.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I am too late with choosing for myself as myself to live.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that my chance is over.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that another person can keep me away from standing on my own feet.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that the emotional chantage is real.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let myself reload with dreams this morning because I slept too long.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to blame myself that I slept 'too long'.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I cannot come out of bed after 6 hours sleep when it's cold in the morning.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to use the being cold as an excuse for not standing up.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I can start breathing when I am lying in bed, when I already know and have experienced several time that this is an excuse of the mind, when I stay in the bed I fall asleep again.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to trust an old alarm and for that use this as an excuse when it is not working very well, so I can sleep a little longer.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that 6 hours sleep is not enough.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to use the menstruation as an excuse to sleep a little longer.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I can do this process with sleeping 7 hours a night.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not know how I can go back to sleep 6 hours every night.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not trust myself in standing up after 6 hours sleep.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not have sense to do a lot of practical things when I sleep 8 hours.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not have sense to do anything when I sleep 8 hours.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to use the sleeping of 8 hours to not have sense to do anything practical that must happen, so to use the sleeping of 8 hours to not do practical things that must happen.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let my mind suppress myself when I finally start moving into a direction that I really want.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let my mind suppress myself when I finally start to stand up as myself in myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe again this suppressing of the mind, that I am not able to stand up in this.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let my mind suppress myself when I finally want to start living as myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to want to go directly to the 'nice' practical part of standing up in myself and start moving, instead of seeing that this is a process, that I have to walk this change breath by breath, day by day, with a lot of patience with myself as myself, applying s.f. every day.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to blame myself as the mind for suppressing myself, instead of seeing that this is what I as the mind do.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be not gentle with myself as the mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to create another seperation with being not gentle with myself as the mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be irritated so much by m.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be irritated so much by myself as m.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be irritated so much by seeing the robot in other person.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be irritated so much by seeing and being the robot inside myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not see how I can just stand up after 6 hours sleep.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be irritated by the menstruation cycle.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to first be lyrical about this cycle and now be irritated by it.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel betrayed by the cycle of life.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel betrayed by everything that I was 'living for'.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel so stupid that I let myself betray by the cycle of life.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel proud in the past about the fact that I 'knew' so much about the cycle of life.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel proud in the past about the fact that I learned how to live within the cycle of life.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel better than other people in the past because I had learned how to live within the cylcle of life.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to use this knowledge as a way to have power over other people who didnot have this knowledge about the cycle of life; power as a defensemeganism, knowledge that I could use when 'neccesary', so actually as a backdoor.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to betray myself by using this knowledge about the living in the cycle of life as a backdoor.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to create a headache by suppressing myself as life.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to have a headache every month before menstruation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel a slave of this menstruation cycle.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to see this headache as 'normal' because it was just before the menstruation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to see it as normal that before/in the beginning of the menstruation I feel pain.

Mens true hate, I will find that article again.




http://desteni.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=257:menstruatie&catid=90:marilyn-monroe&Itemid=311

En zelfs als je wel/niet gelooft in de verhaaltjes uit de Bijbel en het verhaal van Adam en Eva - als een man en een vrouw dit horen, wordt het mannelijk dominante ego onbewust 'opgedoft' samen met haatdragendheid en kwaadheid naar de vrouw, omdat in het verhaal van Adam en Eva, Eva wordt afgeschilderd als 'de bedriegster' van Adam met het 'verboden fruit' en de vrouwelijke onderwerping aan slavernij wordt geprikkeld als zij zich, onbewust, schuldig en beschaamd gaat voelen en gelooft dat zij 'haar schuld moet betalen' aan de man/mannen en in klaarblijkelijke 'verdiend' pijn en lijden moet leven zoals de barensweeën/menstruatiepijnen.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I have to take care for a man until in eternity.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that a man cannot stand on his own feet.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I cannot stand on my own feet.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that a woman has to do 'all the inner work', as a man is doing the 'outer work'.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that it's much easier to only do the outer work.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that I need support of a man with a part of the outer work as making money.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that a man has an easy job with only doing the outer work.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that a woman has a difficult job with doing only the inner work.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that a woman has to do the inner work alone.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define the process that every human has to walk as 'inner work'.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define myself as a woman.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to compare the man and woman with each other.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to compare the inner work as process with the outer work as making money.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel quilty everytime the man is not taking responsability for himself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel quilty everytime I am not taking responsability for myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel quilty when I am not giving answer to the man when he is coming to me with questions of the mind to get attention, 'to make contact'.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel resistance when the man is coming to me with questions of the mind to get attention, and with going in resistance I go into polarity and affirm the feelings of quilt.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to make the mind bigger with this feeling of resistance which makes unable to stand one and equal as the mind as the other person; with giving resistance to another person I create the opposite effect of that I want to be in, which is one and equal as breath, which makes able to communicate in equality.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel suppressed, paralysed, pushed in a corner in 'my own house' when the man is walking around.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to let myself suppress, paralyse, push in a corner by the mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel quilty when I donot want to make contact with the mind of another person.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to blame somebody else instead of seeing that blaming somebody else isnot possible, blaming you is blaming me and with doing this I create feelings of quilt.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not want to make contact with the mind of another person, instead of staying out of the polarity of wanting and not wanting and just stay in breath.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to walk away everytime I feel this resistance, instead of to stop this feeling inside, apply s.f. and stand up in myself, being able to communicate in equality.

And so I did.

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Next day after sleeping 6 hours, I start seeing again in a mindstructure that I didnot want to let go, and for that I as the mind was giving excuses to not see; sleeping longer is one of the excuses.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to use the sleeping as an excuse to not see into and let go structures of the mind.

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