to be here

A constantly experience of panic; I am running around in my head to be everywhere but here.
I have made a connection between 'to be here' and a 'terrible feeling'.
But, if we have never been completely here, than how can I know that to be here gives a terrible feeling?
I cannnot.
So it must be something else that I have made an aversion to, that I connected with the feeling as terrible.
And because the mind turns everything around, the 'terrible feeling' must be in connection with being in the mind! And the mind is turning this into an excuse for not being here, by simulating that 'it is terrible to be here'.

I forgive myself that I allowed and accepted myself to believe that it's terrible to be here, instead of seeing that this feeling is a simulation of the mind.
I forgive myself that I allowed and accepted myself to believe that to be here gives a terrible feeling, instead of seeing that to be in the mind gives a terrible feeling.
I forgive myself that I allowed and accepted myself to believe that I have an aversion to 'to be here'.
I forgive myself that I allowed and accepted myself to connect being in the mind with a terrible feeling, and with this creating another illusion on the illusion of being in the mind.
I forgive myself that I allowed and accepted myself to believe that the experience of panic is real, instead of seeing that the mind is keeping me away from being here with creating an experience of panic.
I forgive myself that I allowed and accepted myself to make a connection between the experience of panic and being here, instead of seeing that I have never really been here, so this cannot cause the panic.
I forgive myself that I allowed and accepted myself to believe that being in the mind will cause an experience of panic, instead of seeing that being in the mind is an illusion, and I am able to stop this as myself.